EDITOR’S NOTE. We’ve shot Mila more than a year ago. Back then, she was one of the first top models we’ve worked with and she made a big impression on me. I was stunned by Mila’s extraordinary genetic beauty and even now, after all the models we’ve shot, Mila’s looks remain remarkable.
This set is a bit different from our other sets. You see Mila playfully masturbating while we shoot her. This is what she felt like doing at 9 am and we didn’t stop her. We usually don’t censor or push models. They decide how they want to be seen or portrayed. It is not a question about money, respect, or power, but often a mutual collaboration to produce something both parties are proud of. It is, however, a question of sexuality and expectations we have. It is a question of how far each model wants to go into an already dangerous territory for her social status.
In some cultures, a woman’s sexuality is believed to have a devastating power on men. In such perspective, the female lust is seen as a sign of black magic aimed at making men weak, vulnerable and dependent on it. Showing too much sexuality and desire might get a woman killed by capital punishment. Thankfully, most cultures are not that extreme, yet the power of female sexuality is nevertheless contained in social and ethical norms.
Religion, politics and culture made sure women feel shame and fear in exploring their sexuality. We designed social, political and religious punishments for sexually free women. We teach a woman that ignorance is her best friend when it comes to knowing her own body. We even tell a woman that we, men, know more about her pregnancies, abortions, menstruation, orgasms and bodily hormonal changes than she does herself. Us, men, know what’s best for a woman, and if a woman wants to have some pleasure, she should seek it exclusively from men.
The anatomical reality is quite different. Both men and women are capable of experiencing orgasms in solo by masturbating. Women are perfectly equipped to satisfy themselves sexually with no need of a man, and often with no need for penetration. For most women, clitoris stimulation is a more reliable way to reach orgasm. Let’s be honest – most sex is not for recreation but for the sake of pleasure. And we find that pleasure in the way our brain responds to sexual stimulation. Ultimately, an orgasm is happening in the brains, not in the genitals,and orgasm is an altered state of mind, where many critical brain functions are shut down or slowed down.
The evolutionary explanation for sexual desire as ‘to have a need to pass the genes’ is only true a couple of times in our lives. The rest of times we have sex, we are close to 100% sure no genes will be passed, and we are enjoying the sexual act exactly because of that certainty. There are different ways one can reach an orgasm. Sex with a partner is only one of them. Manual self-stimulation is another. Just like in computer games, where there are often a single player mode and multiplayer modes for the same game, sexual pleasure differs between those different modes. Yet the game remains the same, built around the same experiences.
We need to recognise that there is no right or wrong way of sexual satisfaction, but a multitude of options and personal choices to achieve pleasure. Gender, sexuality, and self knowledge create a multitude of combinations of what one finds satisfactory and worth experiencing. ∆
See Mila’s full set “I’m brining sexy back” here