“As I look around the world of women, it seems as if our lights are off. We are turned off, like a light switch. The bulb is in there, but it sure isn’t up. And it is no wonder. We have all been taught to turn off, to turn away” Regena Thomashauer, author “Pussy: A Reclamation”
“If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person.” We’ve all heard these emergency instructions in the airplane. An instinct would say to sacrifice and save your child first, but you are a far greater help onboard if you are alive than dead. So why is it that in relationships we often forget about this principle – we don’t put our body first?
Sadly, historically, women were made to feel ashamed and guilty of their sexuality, sexual organs, nakedness, they were taught to constrain their feeling of passion and desire. They were made to forget that pleasure is their right by birth and by design it sits convenient at their arms length, no man needed. Only when a woman learns to deliver pleasure to herself on an on demand basis will she be able to have a relationship based on true pleasure, not neediness and power play.
The problem lies in the fact that women were thought through the ages that men should be the sole source of their sexual pleasure. But that is nonsense. Men are there to possibly enhance and bring variety to the experience, while the women have the means to deliver great pleasure to themselves. A woman’s first obligation is to herself, to put her body first. If a woman doesn’t know her body, how is she ever going to teach a man what she wants?
The power of femininity, joy, happiness, self-esteem, trust in a relationship – lies in the woman’s pussy. But most women don’t talk about their pussies, even in committed relationships, so for a man it is hard to master this subject by himself. Yet there are books by brave and enlightened female individuals who are willing to share their thoughts on this subject. However, every time I buy such a book I find it to be written for women, not men. Turns out many women don’t know much more about their pussies than men do. Women need a manual and a permission to start exploring their own bodies. That for me is the ultimate failure of gender equality – failure of political and academic agendas to talk about the real elephant in the room.
See Dominika’s full set I’m Gonna Put My Body First